


give me this

by Arlene0401



Series: Tumblr drabbles and oneshots 2016 [12]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, death mention, set after chapter 30, sorry I made Eren cry again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401
Summary: After the battle against the Female Titan, Eren makes a shocking realization and turns to Mike for comfort.





	give me this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mongoose_bite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoose_bite/gifts).



> mongoose_bite requested eremike and the prompt: "I saw the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."  
> I delivered a shitty flower shop au.
> 
> You didn't really believe that was all I had up my sleeve did you?

Mike shut the door and leaned his back against it while he tried to choose between either falling asleep right there on the floor or faceplanting into his bed with gear, boots and all. 

 

Through the wood, he felt rather than heard the soft knock. He grit his teeth and briefly considered not answering. But his hand was on the doorknob before he even made a conscious decision.

 

There was no question if he'd ever deny Eren.

 

The boy slipped inside and had his arm wrapped around Mike's middle in the same instant, letting out a shuddery breath.

 

“Hey, you shouldn't be here. You should be long asleep by now. It's been an awful day for you, and tomorrow will be just as hard.”

 

Eren only held him tighter, as if daring Mike to pry his arms loose and send him away. Mike sighed and patted his hair. “You wanna sleep here?”

 

Eren nodded fiercely against his chest. “Okay, but I'll kick you out real early tomorrow morning so no one sees you.” Another nod.

 

Mike maneuvered them to the bed and coaxed Eren to let go long enough so they could shed their boots, gear and pants, but as soon as they settled under the blankets in shirts and underwear, the boy clutched onto him again.

 

This was all they ever did - sleeping cuddled up, or dozing and softly talking. Mike held on to some last shreds of decency, which included not having sex with a teenage boy, no matter how much Eren insisted that if he was old enough to kill he was old enough to fuck. Mike suspected that this was what the kid needed much more anyway - someone he could confide in, someone who gave him a little warmth and safety. Someone who didn't see a monster in him, or a hero, but saw what he was - a confused teen who carried too much responsibility on his shoulders.

 

And now, Eren carried the guilt for the death of a whole squad, people who had died because they believed he was something special. No wonder he rather wanted to crawl into Mike´s bed than be haunted by their screams, alone in the darkness. Mike turned onto his side, wrapped his arms around Eren's, head tucked under his own chin, and waited for the tears to come. He felt Eren tense and shudder, trying to fight them back, but eventually the dam broke.

 

Eren wasn't capable of crying in any dignified way, it was all ugly hiccuping sobs and drool and a red, blotchy, scrunched up face, but Mike didn't mind. He didn´t waste time on soothing lies, like telling Eren all would be good, or that they had moved on to a better place. Nothing would be good, and his comrades lay broken and cold and mutilated in the forest to rot, that was the ugly truth that Eren ultimately had to accept and live with.

 

When the sobs subsided to sniffles, Mike fished a handkerchief from his nightstand and offered it to Eren to wipe his face. Absent-mindedly, Eren obeyed, dropped the wet cloth on the floor and crawled even closer.

 

“Any better now?” Mike asked.

 

“No”, Eren muttered, his voice hoarse and exhausted.

 

“Hey.” Mike lifted up Eren's chin with his finger to catch his gaze. “This isn't like you. I've never seen you this disheartened. This… is not just about the death of Petra and the others, right?”

 

Eren shook his head. “I know it's stupid, but… they had been outside so often, had killed so many titans. I thought they were safe, that they wouldn't die. Not  _ them _ . And now I realized that no one is safe, no matter how experienced or strong or brave. That even the Commander could get killed, or Levi. Or you.” He clung to Mike tighter, fingers digging painfully into his back, but he didn't complain. Mike knew that many lived under this illusion up to a certain point, and how painful it was when you snapped into reality.

 

“Today it was you who nearly got killed”, Mike pointed out.

 

“No, these monsters, they want me alive. And probably do horrible things to me, or make  _ me _ do horrible things. And what if Levi isn't there to kill me then… what if  _ nobody  _ is left to kill me?”

 

Mike tucked some strands behind Eren’s ear. “I could promise you now that I’ll stay by your side, or that I won’t let anything happen to you, but that would be a lie, Eren. Nobody of us knows if they’ll be alive the next morning. But I know two things. One, every single one of us scouts will carry on until their last breath, so as long as even one of us is alive there is still hope. And two”, he kissed the boy’s forehead, “I’m here with you  _ now _ .”

 

Eren made an odd, half-choked sound, then he pushed at Mike so he rolled over on his back, and climbed on top of him. His eyes were very bright, his face still blotchy from crying. He looked down at Mike with an odd mixture of anger and sorrow.

 

“Yes, and what will I have when you’re gone tomorrow? Mike, I need to feel you. I need you to give me something I can hold on to. Something that will be carved into my mind forever.” He leaned down and whispered against Mike’s lips. “I know you think it inappropriate, but I also know that you want me anyway. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice, and those looks undress me and eat me alive. So please… give me this.”

 

He hovered there for a moment, lips only a hair’s width away from Mike, gauging his face for a reaction. Mike felt as if his whole being was hanging in balance. Yes, no, wait. Then he thought of a life without Eren, without ever having tasted his skin, and he surged forward to cover those lips with his own. Long suppressed desire flared up and surfaced, the need to feel, taste and hold, and any doubts he might still have harbored were crushed by Eren’s hands and lips on him. 

 

Whatever Eren did, it was whole-heartedly, throwing himself into it like he was taking a dive from a cliff, and it was this zeal and passion that Mike had fallen in love with. Part of his refusal to have sex was not originating in Eren’s age, but in his fear that once ignited… they would burn like a bonfire.

 

Indeed Eren seemed to be aflame in his arms, and Mike found himself mirroring his heat, making love to him not like it was their first, but the very last time.

 

“I love you”, Eren said, sounding almost surprised. “ _I love you_ ”, he’d never said it before, it branded itself into Mike’s soul, and the image of Eren’s ecstatic face, mouth slack in an ‘o’ of pleasure, would stay with him forever.

 

Afterwards they curled up against each other with soft touches and muted whispers. Already half asleep, Eren muttered: “Mike, when we first met… you sniffed me, and then you laughed. Why did you laugh? What did you smell on me?”

 

Mike worked an eye open. “Love. I smelled love on you.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can find my SNK and personal blog under [glassesgirl0401](http://glassesgirl0401.tumblr.com)


End file.
